We are officially just 100 days away from kicking off the 2019 UB Football season and the buzz is beginning to fill the air. After a disappointing NFL draft season and finish to the 2018 season, the Bulls will look to bounce back. What fans might not realize however, is their is 100 reasons why the Bulls will be celebrating a national championship this season. Let's get started!
100: UB has two stud running backs in Patterson and Marks who will be able to carry this team to dominance.
99: The field house is officially finished meaning their level of practice will be increased equaling dominance during games.
98: Danny White has started to push for more G5 involvement in the playoffs and he will end up pushing the Bulls forward one more time.
97: Alabama traded us their playoff spot for Nate Oats. Obviously.
96: The national championship game is held in New Orleans this year. The city is nicknamed "The Big Easy" and Buffalo used to have a big QB. (Tyree Jackson WAS 6'7)
95: The Bulls take on Penn State this year. Once they win this game, they’ll officially have more quality wins than a PAC 12 team.
94: The Bulls haven’t won a national championship yet so due to basic statistics, they will win one (see regression to the mean).
93: The Bulls are coached by Lance Leipold. In using his two L’s for his name, they LEGALLY cannot give the Bulls anymore L’s.
92: Khalil Mack. Need I explain more?
91: Evan Finegan will still being punting for the Bulls, and with an energy factory like this on the team, nobody will come close to Buffalo this year.
90: UB Naked Guy has retired, and the God of National Championships will reward this sacrifice with a championship.
89: You can’t spell Buffalo without the letters “C,H,A,M,P,I,O,N,S” if you replace most of the letters with these new ones.
88: With the Buffalo Bulls Men’s Basketball success, the University will have made enough money to finally put on a victory parade, so they will can finally stop throwing games.
87: Ever hear of UB 2020??????????
86: The Bulls will have a competition between two QBs to see who will be the starter this season between Dominic Johnson and Kyle Vantrease. Guess who else had a QB battle, Alabama.
85: Lance Leipold has often been called “Dabo Swinney North”
84: Have you seen Jovany Ruiz’s calves???
83: Like REALLY REALLY seen them?
82: Those already start the season 2-0
81: We have inside sources saying FLJ will be giving pregame prep talks to the team this year, meaning they’ll be running through brick walls all season.
80: 2019 was dubbed the year of the kicker by myself, so the Bulls are going to own the kicking game and ride it to New Orleans.
79: New Orleans has new in it. Guess what else has New in it, NYBI!
78: They didn’t draft Daniel Jones so they’re clearly being run better than the NY Giants, and they’re in the NFL. If every NFL team could beat every CFB team, the Bulls will clearly be the National Champions by the rule of association.
77: Jovany Ruiz’s calves get another
76: The Bulls have never NOT won a Football championship in years ending in “2019”
75: The NFL not drafting any Bulls will inspire them to win the National Championship to end the hatred of this school.
74: Have you seen the new LB recruit, Jhalil Nack???
73: Football spelled backwards is “Bullseye”
72: Two words, redemption tour.
71: With no AAF anymore, players will play harder to show the NFL what they’re made of.
70: The Bulls offensive line is bigger than most so this means they’ll be incredible.
69: They’re just so NICE.
68: True Blue will lead them to the promise land.
67: So will the Thunder of the East.
66: So will the dazzlers.
65: So will the cheer team.
64: So will Victor E. Bull.
63: The Bulls sometimes have halftime fireworks. The National Championship game usually has a halftime performer with fire works. This is not a mere coincidence.
62: The Bills limited their tailgating so when the city obviously begins to boycott, they’ll funnel all their energy in to UB which is going to give the team the final push.
61: With a track around the field, they will be able to stay extra conditioned during the game.
60: Because I said so.
59: Within the past couple of years, Uber and Lyft came to Buffalo, so logically the next thing to come will be a CFB Championship. (Yes I’m looking at my phone now for inspiration and it was the first app I saw).
58: Mark Alnutt used to play football meaning we are now a football school meaning we will win it all.
57: I didn’t move to Buffalo NOT to win championships.
56: If the Browns can trade for Odell the Bulls can win a few games on the way to glory.
55: If a measly independent school like Notre Dame can make the playoff, why not a school from the MAC????
54: It’s not like PJ Fleck can beat us anymore.
53: Everyone loves an underdog.
52: They have an offense.
51: They have a defense.
50: They kinda have a special teams.
49: It can’t be Alabama vs. Clemson AGAIN can it?
48: The MoBULL pass is actually worth 25 PPG.
47: With Paul Peck’s “Bullseye” call, the Bulls will become a winning machine.
46: Jar Patterson
45: Jam Patterson
(We’re hitting a wall)
38: Wisconsin Whitewater
27: LeDarius Mack will bring the power of his family name on to the field every game.
26: I already bought the confetti for the celebration so they now have to.
25: Seriously, this has put me in a serious financial hole so the Bulls HAVE to win.
24: Jovany Ruiz’s calves again
23: Those things literally started an internet trend, how can we let him not get a championship ring??????
22: They’re actually coached by someone who was a coach in football.
21: Looking at you Sabres.
20: Mark Alnutt would’ve already had signed Jeff Skinner so clearly he knows about good decisions.
19: Most players I know eat at Elmo’s when they want wings, so they have the smarts it takes to win.
18: You probably haven’t read all of these so this is just a test to see if you’re still here.
17: The Bulls didn’t sign any big name free agents like Manny Machado or Bryce Harper so they clearly know how to handle saber metrics
16: We assume saber metrics works in football.
15: If they don’t oh well, you try writing this, 100 reasons is a lot.
14: Since Tyree Jackson is playing for the Bills, he can always just change one letter and lead the Bulls again.
13: The Bulls wear Blue. The Sky is Blue. The Sky is up. The Bulls will clearly be up in the rankings.
12: Are YOU going to try and tackle Kevin Marks???
11: We’ve started on a secret plan to get Dontay Caruthers to play FB.
10: We want them to win so they have to.
9: They play outside so once they make it to the Superdome they’ll be extra tough from the cold.
8: Buffalo has to win something right????
7: Kirk Herbstreit has said the words “Buffalo, will, win, a, national, championship” at some point in his life and he gets paid the big bucks.
6: WMU almost one the sugar bowl so why can’t the Bulls win it all.
5: The Bulls have to make James O’Daddy proud so what better way than a Natty?
2: Number 1
1: BECAUSE WE LOVE THE BULLS AND WE THINK THEY WILL WIN EVERY GAME.
I’m sorry. Go Bulls!