clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Get Ready to hate.... Temple, and pudding..

Templelogo_mediumTemple University is this weeks beneficiary of Bull Run hatred. Perhaps it's the fact UB and Temple are the youngest members of the MAC, or the furthest, but no team comes as close to a rival as those misfits from Philadelphia.

Sure UB has historically owned Temple, even Bill Cosby's debut was brutally crushed by Buffalo. Hell even in Basketball UB is 2-0 against Temple this decade so its no more a rivalry then those times my big brother used to stomp me into the ground.

But with UB sliding a bit off of the upward trend that Warde Manuel set into motion Temple finally got a win, and a big one, last season. This year UB is really struggling to Temple has a chance to even up their MAC record against us at 2-2.

What Follows is half history and half hate. If you can't tell the difference it's because you're a Temple fan who stumbled across this site. Welcome, pull up a chair, take a xanax, and enjoy Temple Hate Week!!!

Did you know Temple's entire history is based on a set of lies set in half truths?

The Name: While it's true Temple was the first school to use the Owl Mascot what they wont tell you is that the Owl is actually the second nick name for Temple Students. In 1881 when the program was taking root the use of caffeine and cheese steaks gave Temple Students a legendary reputation for their.... leavings... Local restaurant owners who had to suffer every grunt and moan of Temple kids took to calling the student body 'the bowels'.

Realizing what a PR disaster this would be for the fledgling institution Dr. Russell Conwell quickly usurped the pejorative by promoting his students as "the owls", the similar sounding names created enough confusion to scuttle 'the bowels'

The Institutional Roots: Temple was famously started as a night school out of the basement of a baptist church. When Dr. Conwell started to teach kids and the homeless to read soup cans at the churches food lines. The initial goal was make sure that the illiterate volunteers, after several "incidents", know which cans were soup and which cans were motor oil.

Seeing the success of his 'Don't spoil the Oil' campaign spurred Conwell to start up a real school. nearly thirty years and several thousand poisoned homeless people later Temple got accredited.

Their Most Famous Football Coach left to work with 'real athletes': Pop Warner was a successful football coach until he took up the task of trying to make Temple respectable. After a couple of good seasons his talent could not sustain the program and Temple started to turn in losing seasons.

So disgusted with the university Warner decided to deal with real athletes by founding 'Pop Warner Football'. He initially called the organization the 'pop warner little scholars' because most of the seven year olds had mastered the difference between oil and soup (Temple Students were 80% of the way there by 1930).

The Big East Conference: Many at Temple blame the big East for all of the events that led to their being punted by the conference. But the truth of the matter is that the conference was sick of picking up the bills for all the Porn and stolen towels that the Temple administration ran up during the yearly conference meetings.

Temple was also hurt by their reputation for not putting money in the coffee fund constantly "forgetting" their wallet when it came time to go out for lunch.