NCAA execs stunned as little-known Twitter rule forces Rawle Alkins to Buffalo***

INDIANAPOLIS -- A cruel joke? A High School prank by a friend? Hacked? Doesn't matter, Rawle Alkins is headed to Buffalo whether he likes it or not. UB invoked the Twitter Commitment Rule, an obscure rule in the NCAA Manual that makes commitment by Twitter binding.

Bylaw 89.8.4 states: "As technology grows the National Letter of Intent and faxed commitments continue to be an outdated and unnecessary stress on our prospective student athletes. Thus a tweeted commitment, along with a picture of a PSA wearing team gear, accessories, or holding an animal that corresponds with the team mascot (puppy, cat, elephant etc) shall be deemed a binding athletic commitment."

When reached for comment, the NCAA said while they were aware the expansive nature of NCAA guidelines makes it impossible to know what is in the Manual, they didn't expect a poorly thought out bylaw would be so publicly embarrasing. When asked about amending the rule, the NCAA said they probably wouldn't, but they would do their best to find some way to hit UB with sanctions to discourage mid-majors from attempting to challenge the established powers in college basketball.

In Kentucky, John Calipari was dissapointed: "It's a shame an obscure rule prevents Alkins from reaching his potential: being the 8th or 9th guy in next year's platoon system. Starting at UB will not prepare him for NBA life. Sitting on my bench will."

Former UB head coach and current Arizona State coach Bobby Hurley was asked about the coup by his former team. He remarked he hadn't heard the news, just waking up on the west coast, and added: "[expletive], [expletive], [expletive], [expletive], [expletive], [expletive], mother-[expletive], [expletive], [expletive], [expletive]."

In Buffalo, when asked for comment UB Athletic Director Danny White could only be heard saying: "hummana hummana hummana hummana."

First year head coach Nate Oats was more measured: "We're happy to get Alkins, but we probably only get him for one year and he's just one player. We're going to need many more friends to tweet pics of many more top players in UB gear before we can really get excited."

***Satire alert