Post Game Meal: Doritos-Flavored Hard Shell Taco
You know when you get something to eat that you know you'll regret. You receive your order, take a bite and yep, you regret it. With each bite you ask yourself: why am I eating this? Then you eat every ounce of it. This was the Baylor game. I knew it would be a dumpster fire, and even the dropped passes failed to make me upset. I had a few beers and some wings, and I was just happy it was Friday and football was on. Plus I got to be sarcastic on twitter, and if you took offense, there are many writers on Bull Run who would apologize, but not me, I honestly don't care about your delicate sensibilities.
I might get in trouble for saying that, but seriously, I came up under the Hofher era, I once got yelled at on the team plane for daring to laugh on a postgame flight after another miserable loss. That experience taught me two things: one, you MUST always laugh, and two, anyone who tells you not to laugh shouldn't be listened to. (That is the nice version). Basically my philosophy for dealing with football adversity is based on Lee Ann Womack's "I Hope You Dance", just replace every "Dance" with "Laugh".
I digress, the meal is: Fourth Meal, probably one of those Doritos ones. DISCLAIMER, I've never had a Doritos Loco Taco, but I assume I accurately described how it feels to eat one. For the first time, I don't have a non-Taco Bell fast food taco option. In Buffalo, it's all about Mighty Taco. In California, I'm partial to Del Taco, but there are also many many hole in the wall taco joints. In Hawaii, as far as I've seen so far, it's just Taco Bell. That said when I go to Taco Bell, I'm all about the Cheesy Gordita Crunch: Soft flatbread, crunchy hard shell, layer of cheese, so decadent.
Post Game Drink: Blue Moon Pumpkin
It's pumpkin season, and well the California microbrew craze hasn't hit Hawaii yet, I guess the shipping costs would be prohibitive for the small brewer type. So without the option of some of my favorite pumpkins, I bought a case of Blue Moon Pumpkin. It is quite tasty, but it packs absolutely zero punch. When you have been drinking 7-9% Lagunitas IPAs all summer, it's hard to switch to a 3% Blue Moon, but it's for the best. A Tepper defense is best watched sober.
The nice flavor says, hey it's just a game, enjoy life. The low alcohol content says no, don't throw this beer bottle into the television as the guy who had no one lined up in front of him at the snap runs unmolested 80 yards down the field for an easy TD catch.
How do you cope with Tepper: stay (relatively) sober and calm, or get drunk and rage? Let us know at @ubbullrun on twitter like so:
Post Game Song
So Tepper was getting a lot of heat this week, even NCAA football commentary robot Danny Kanell found time to criticize the defensive scheme between creating Playoff scenarios that left out Baylor. For all of you new to the Fire Tepper movement come into my world:
Honest moment, I was not looking forward to Baylor week this week, because I was so upset with a Baylor forum last year. This year I stayed on Our Daily Bears and steered clear of anger, really enjoyed the ODB peeps this time around and they seemed to be much more representative of the people I met in Waco, than the posters on that Baylor forum.
Anyway, in the wake of the 70-13 defeat last year, I was very critical of coach Tepper for allowing Baylor to take Khalil Mack completely out of the game. Obviously that was Baylor's focus and they are very good at what they do offensively, but as a defensive coordinator, you can't constantly lose that battle between what you want to do, and what the other team's offense wants to do. Post Mack, we're 0-3 at defense dictation, and we're pretty lucky not to be 0-3 in the standings.
Last year a Baylor fan on that forum said something to the effect of "The problem isn't the defensive coordinator, it's that they scheduled Baylor." Sure, it was pretty shaqy of Baylor to go ahead and get top 10 good. We signed that 4-game agreement under the assumption that Baylor was going to be well Baylor. Shame on you wily Texans for taking advantage of us in that way.
Still, many on the board were sure I had no football knowledge and they insinuated that they had more knowledge of Buffalo football than I. Many of them assumed I saw 70 points against and thought unintelligently, it's the DCs fault. I've come to terms, that they saw my anger at a DC as a slight to Baylor's offensive prowess.
But they were wrong because if you have been on Bull Run since 2012, you know two things: Tepper was hired in 2012, and I started hating Tepper in 2012, WAY before Baylor dropped 126 points on his defense. In fact, I looked it up, I was over Tepper after a month of watching his defense™.
from Three Goats 10/1/2012:
If Mr. Tepper had the Kraken, he would not release him. If Mr. Tepper had the Avengers, he'd drop Iron man and the hulk into pass coverage. One more? Umm, if Tepper was Batman, he'd leave the Bat wing and the Batmobile in the Cave and take a cab. Lou Tepper is undefeated in Russian Roulette; he always leaves his bullets in the chamber.
My first "fire Tepper" came in the Three Goats a few weeks later on 10/16/2012, it's sadly very similar to what I wrote in the post Duquesne postgame meal in 2014:
If you are new to team fire Tepper after four consecutive defensive no-shows (including San Diego State...4.5 including the 2nd half of BGSU, and ignore Miami cause they were awful, the game before that we allowed 50+ to Toledo) consider this your welcome packet. As founding member and CEO, I welcome you, but warn, unlike bullying, it doesn't get better.
Anyway, silly season has one more week, and hopefully we come out of it 2-2 after a promising win over the Norfolk State uhhh Spartans? Judges are telling me yes they'll accept that answer. The Spartans will probably score more than they should before UB wins narrowly, and I look forward to that dramatic tune up as we march into the real season. Every MAC team is either wounded or playing awful football, so it's just going to be wonderful MACtion.
As always, in spite of coaching, country music concerts, and to the chagrin of Mama Licata's pasta budget, go UB, beat the Spartans like the Thebes in Tegyra.