'Twas the night before Christmas, on a eve in Amherst
Not a player was stirring, not even the worst.
The stockings were hung by the scoreboard with care,
In hopes that Victor E. Bull soon would be there;
The linemen were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of QB sacks danc'd in their heads,
And Khalil in his facemask, and Jeff in his visor,
Had just settled us hoping for playcalls wiser -
When out on the turf there arose such a clatter,
White sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the East Club he flew like Javon,
Tore open the coffers, and FLECK! It was ON!
The moon on the glint of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of sweet coin to objects below;
When, what to his wondering eyes should seem,
But an azure sleigh, and eight massive Bulls,
With a giant blue driver, horned and spirit-full,
He knew in a moment it must be Victor E..
More rapid than Ross his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now! Neutz, now! Mack, now! Baccas and Kling,
"On! McCrea, on! Oliver, on! Licata and Loesing;
"To the top of the MAC! To the top of the Nation!
"Now #HornsUp! #HornsUp! #HornsUp in jubilation!"
As Golden Flashes frome shoulder of wild Oliver fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the 300s the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of blue - and Victor E. too:
And then in a twinkling, White heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As he drew out his wallet, and was ready to sell,
Down the stairway Victor E. came with bells!
He was dress'd all in blue, nose ring steaming hot,
And his jersey said "one," like his good friend Potts;
A bundle of wins was flung on his back,
And he look'd like Reggie just shedding his jacket:
His eyes - how they twinkled! His nose ring: how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his horns like cherries;
His fierce growling mouth shone above his chest,
As he tried, oh he tried, to forget about Todd Kress;
The memory of Tom Murphy he held tight in his mind,
And the year behind him brought his spirit alive.
He had a broad face, and strong blue legs
That flexed when he ran, like the transfer Will Regan:
He was fit and lean, right strapping in Blue,
And White lurch'd when he saw him, as if with the flu;
A wink of his eye and the roar of the crowd
Soon convinced him of an upcoming bowl - how loud!
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And fill'd all the lockers; then turn'd with a jerk,
And laying the wins all through the year,
And giving a nod, through the whole season, you hear?
He sprung to his sleigh, his team gave a snort,
And away they all flew, the champions of sport:
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight -
"The New York Bulls? That just doesn't sound right!"