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The Pregame Meal: Kent State 2012

Kent struggles when forced to tackle Blue Guys, Advantage: The Blue Man Group: Mark Zerof-US PRESSWIRE
Kent struggles when forced to tackle Blue Guys, Advantage: The Blue Man Group: Mark Zerof-US PRESSWIRE

The Pregame Meal makes it's way to UB Bull Run. The goal of the pregame meal is to Hydrate, Nutritionate, and Player Hate. It is your bulletin board's bulletin board material. The Pregame meal also delivers 11 factors that will decide the game, and over 50% of those factors are actual football facts. After the game, I revisit it all, during the postgame meal to show how accurate I was. (I'm 5% Mayan, margin of error +/- 5%).


The Goldilocks Cocktail: Mock our enemies with your cocktail. Buffalo will hit too hard, Kent's Defense will be too soft, and Buffalo will play just right.


Apple Juice: crush a juice box like the Bulls will crush the Flashes.

Nutritionation: Lemon Chicken...fry up your own little metaphor for the Golden Flashes, add a side of pasta, to keep the carbs up for a long night of cheering for UB and pair with a nice Chardonnay.

Player Hating:

  • I hate the Golden Flashes. Are we rivals? No I don't think so. I just hate the Flashes, but I hate everyone so take that with a grain of salt.
  • They never really have a QB, just a running back under center, I don't like that.
  • Josh Cribbs, hate his guts. I hate that he actually seems to be a cool guy. He ran for like 250 yards on us one time as a QB, it's very demoralizing.
  • I hate Julien Edelman, if not for him, we go 9-5 in 2009: and at 9-4 with a seven game win streak and a win over a top 15 team, I think we would have earned our first top 25 ranking. He took that from us, I hate him for it. I hate Kent for it.
  • I don't care for James Harrison, I wouldn't say that to his face, but c'mon man, complaining that you are going to quit rather than wrap up and tackle like you weren't taught at Kent, (because of their inferior coaching you see) your game has to continually evolve Mr. Harrison, you stop evolving you die. Well maybe you're right Mr. Harrison, you can't be expected to evolve, it's the Kent way, their offense hasn't evolved in a half century.

A Little Love:

I love that Kent and Buffalo have the same number of MAC Championships. It took Kent 21 years to get one, and it's been 40 years since. It only took us 9 years.

I love Kent State's Andre Parker, on rainy days I play this and it makes me smile:

With that said, on to the 11 factors to decide the game.

1) Kent Offense vs Buffalo Defense:

Kent is passing for 9.6 yards per reception, and completing 63% of their passes, a luxury when you have called 10 more running plays than passing plays. Kent State only gains 3.8 yards per rush, so they look to outlast you with the run game, catch you cheating and then beat you for mid-length passes.

UB has allowed 4.4 yards per run and let Morgan State gain 12.7 yards per reception, this plays into Kent State's gameplan.

Advantage: Kent State

2) Random Google Image Search:

Google Image Search SUNY Buffalo you get the traditional South Campus Landscape. Google Image Search Kent State, you get a dark chapter of our nation's history.

Advantage: Buffalo

3) Buffalo Offense vs Kent Defense:

Buffalo runs with Branden Oliver, gaining 4.4 yards per carry against Georgia. Georgia could weather the storm without cheating and Buffalo gained 10.6 yards per reception, but only completed 56% of passes. Against Morgan, Buffalo gained 9.6 yards per carry which forced Morgan to cheat to stop the run, which opened up the passing game, to the tune of 15.6 yards per reception. Buffalo uses the run to open up the pass, the other 2 members of the Big 3, Alex Neutz and Alex Zordich take over from there.

Kent seemed to sit on the pass against Kentucky, holding them to 11.8 yards per reception, but as a result, Kent allowed 6.2 yards per carry. If they continue that strategy, it plays right into Buffalo's hands.

Advantage: Buffalo

4) NFL Team: Buffalo Bills (1-1) vs Cleveland Browns (0-2), On Sunday they battle, but as of now, The Bills have the better record.

Advantage: Buffalo

5) Special Teams: This is a case of feast and famine Kent will win the field position battle, but can they capitalize with 3 points when they get into field goal range?

Kent State's Dri Archer had kick returns of 98 and 57 yards against Towson, and averaged 24.5 yards on 4 returns against Kentucky. Buffalo has allowed over 30 yards per kick return in both their games including that big Georgia kick return for a touchdown. Buffalo has tightened up their punt coverage but they have sacrificed punt distance. Kent outpunts Buffalo by 10 yards on average.

On the flip side, Patrick Clarke is a perfect 1-1 in field goals, but the only attempt was from 18 yards, so his skill this year is still unknown. Kent State's Kicker Freddy Cortez has limited range and accuracy, he is 2 of 5 in field goals this year, with a long of 35 and misses from 31, 45 and 50.

Kent out punts Buffalo on average by 10 yards.

They will win the field position battle, but does it matter if you can't kick the field goal? We'll give the advantage to Kent, because we aren't sure if Buffalo can in fact kick the field goal.

Advantage: Kent State

6) Google News Search Headline (non-sports related):

"Kent State University Student raises $70,000 for tsunami victims using social media."

"UB reputation on the line over fracking."

Advantage: Kent State

7) Key Player:

Dri Archer - Archer has 132 yards rushing in two games on only 16 carries, 8.3 yards per run. He is the X-factor on special teams, if he can break a big play or two, it gives Kent a great spark. Kent hopes he can do to Buffalo what Todd Gurley did.

Branden Oliver - Alternatively, Oliver can extinguish Kent's spark by putting in a classic 30 carry 150 yard game that batters down Kent's defense and forces the safeties to cheat into the box.

Buffalo can stop Archer with high or long kickoffs, and then they only have to worry about facing him 8-10 plays a game. Kent has to handle BO all night long.

Advantage: Buffalo

8) Player Names:

The category where losing Wonderful Monds hurts the most. Kent wins hands down, they have:

Dylan Farrington, who's just playing football to stay in shape for Lacrosse season.

Elias Sayre

April Goss, female kicker

Dontavious Colson

C.J. Malauulu

Brandt Pfeifer

Trip Ison

Kent Cleveland what? That has to be an Ochocinco-esque name change

Tad France

Luke Smurthwaite

C.J. Brathwaite

Dri "Sterling" Archer

Jordan Italiano

Devante' Strickland (what is that apostrophe for?)

Wow! just wow.

Advantage: Kent

9) Key situation:

3rd Downs Kent has allowed conversions on 50% of 3rd downs, Buffalo has only converted 36% of their 3rd downs. If Buffalo can convert, it can go a long way towards eating away at the field position hole our poor special teams will put the team in...if they continue to struggle on 3rd down, Kent will win the field postion battle and score easy points.

Kent actually held Kentucky to only 42% on 3rd down, and Buffalo was still pretty bad against Morgan, giving this one to Kent.

Advantage: Kent

10) Logo:

Halle Berry What happens to things when they are struck by lightning?

Bird getting struck by lightning, no bueno.

Advantage: Buffalo

11) Previous Results

Vs SEC team: Buffalo scored 9 more points than Kent.

Vs SEC team: Buffalo allowed 2 less points than Kent.

Therefore via indisputable SCIENCE. BUFFALO wins by 11.

Advantage: Buffalo

Overall 11 Factors Pregame Meal Score: Buffalo 6, Kent 5. Buffalo wins a close one.