I have no illusions about what this site is, its a minor distraction for me and tens of other people. Hell Hamster dance provided more quality entertainment to people over the years then I have, and I am ok with that, its still fun to blog UB.
Some good bloggers (see my side bar for MAC Blogs) take pity on me and help out with Blog Exchanges, Pick' Em and other MAC hijinks, but on the whole I have zero pull when it comes to bringing in the big name fans.
This week I wanted to interview Kangaroo Jack but I was told by his agent that he had more important things to be doing. At least that's what I think he said:
"You're a bit of a dag, not a real Journo, and my bloke Jack has some White Pointers he would rather be spending time with."
Bull who? G'day.... I said G'day
When you get rejected by a Kangaroo, or a Kangaroo's agent, it kind of puts things into perspective. I considered going down to the Minnesota Zoo and looking for a lesser kangaroo but Jack's rejection clearly indicated that I should go in a different direction when approaching Akron Super fans.
I had success with the Chips when I stumbled upon some former B (or C) list personalities with little to do so I tried to ask our office secretary, Phyllis, who the most recently abandoned media personalities were. Unfortunately Phyllis was watching her 'stories', something about the last episode of Guiding Light but in the end it worked out.
After being 'sushed' for the third time I had an epiphany! Like the time I realized that ND was overrated even in CW's first season? Or when I finally accepted that no matter how many times its said on the ESPN fan boards people will still take #5 spot in the bottom ten list seriously? This time my clarity came in the form of this weeks superfan.
Akron is easily the biggest soap opera in the conference this season so who better to root for the zips than a huge cast (Infocision stadium has the room) of soap opera stars with nothing better to do!I was fortunate as several of them had already been following the news sport docudrama taking place in northeast Ohio.
Bull Run: So guy's sorry to hear about the end of you're show, I've never been one for the soaps but Phyllis our Administrative Assistant loves them. It's always ugly to lose your job in this economy.
"Evil Edmund Winslow"
David MacDonald: These things happen, life moves on jobs change, taste change, and you have to find new things to do. The show had a great 72 year run, most people don't have that kind of run. Besides I got tired of being typecast as Evil Edmund. Now rather than working our fingers to the bone rehearsing for 20 minutes a day I can site back and enjoy other interest, its been a long time since I could follow College football with the fervor that it deserves.
Bull Run: I have to say I was very, very surprised that a show shot in California and set in Illinois had so many people familiar with Akron, I figured at the least I would have to at least introduce you to the MAC teams (figured you all for USC fans).
Ron Reins: There is no drama with USC, Every year they are going to start ranked somewhere between 3-10, they will most likely choke on one game and spend the rest of the season fighting back until they get the BCS bid from the PAC-10 against some Big-10 cupcake, its the same thing every year. Maybe, just maybe, if Carroll fell into a coma or had an illegitimate love child I would bother to follow them.
Meanwhile in the MAC you're never going to see it coming. I was sure the Akron-Buffalo game was going to mean something, even this early in the year, but both teams have just been terrible. And the division is being dominated by Ohio and Temple! for either team to make a Bowl its going to take a miracle. Just look at the Drama!
- James Starks Going down, not to mention about one serious injury per week for Buffalo.
- CJ getting booted from Akron, Arrested players, disgraced coaches, a new stadium sitting half empty.
Bull Run: Ok, ok, so Akron has had its fair share of problems this year but come on there have been other more dramatic moments this season! LeGarrette Blount's 'hey how do you do' sucker punch in Boise? Florida State Board members calling for Bowdens head? Injuries to Teebow and Bradford? Akron cant be that interesting can it?
Lisa Brown: There have been nice side stories from other teams, but nobody has brought it week after week more than the Zip's. They started off on a high note, like a bunch of old money suburbanites with nothing to do but get into trouble, then after their high point they have given gossip monger's no end of juicy tid bit. The formula is perfect because you never quite know the whole story?
- Was Jacquemain kicked off for stealing or because he tried to dump Zippy the Kangaroo into quicksand?
- Was it the recruiting violation that led to Reno Ferri leaving the university, or did it turn out that he was really in the witness protection and was outed by other MAC coaches to make sure the Zips never find a running game?
- How did Cowles Stewart do while waiting to be released on bond?
- Will the Zips ever get more than 20K in that stadium again?
Bull Run: Ok enough about their off the field problems, how are they going to stack up against Buffalo?
Paul Stewart: Look they gave Ohio a run for their money, and lets face it UB is no Ohio this season. I've been a bit character for some time so I got to watch Akron own Buffalo up in Amherst for most of the decade.
Still I don't think the Zips have an answer for Naaman Roosevelt or even Ike Nduka this year.
I think at this point JD is on life support and unless the writers decide to revive the character, I do love the guy, this is going to be his last season. Until, of course, he pops up in a few years when he returns for revenge!
Bull Run: Umm Paul, There are no writers. Whats going on at Akron is real...
Ron: I knew the off the field stuff was true but are you trying to tell me the 'football' that they have been playing is not scripted? Come on, what kind of a coach gets a fourth season after having three 3-5 conference finishes at a university that just dumped 60 million into a new stadium? Hell even Buffalo eventually fired Hofher, he didn't have any kind of legacy to uphold and Buffalo has hardly put any money into their program.
David: Does this mean I can't deduct my trip to Akron as career development and planning?
Lisa: I feel like I'm in a dream sequence
Bull Run: Ok, I think we are losing David and Lisa so it's time to wrap this thing up; predictions about this weekends game?
Ron: Chris Jacqumain gets special dispensation to transfer to Buffalo friday afternoon, he comes in as only a backup but after a shaky start by Maynard he gets a shot late in the third quarter. With dramatic music playing he proceeds to tear Akron apart only to find out that JD Brookhart is his long lost cousin with a few seconds remaining. The emotional roller coaster is too much and he is last seen running from the field after swiping the officials whistle, a UB helmet, and some fat kids popcorn... Akron 24-Buffalo 21
Lisa: Buffalo jumps all over Akron and are up 58-0 early in the third. Midway through the third rumors start to circulate that Temple players were using experimental mind reading devices, procured from Villinova, to foresee where Maynard was going to pass three weeks ago.
The NCAA takes the game from Temple giving it to Buffalo, the Bulls will soon be 2-1 in conference and controlling their own destiny. Thats when you, Tim, wake up from your coma.. Akron 35 - Buffalo 12 (btw you were in a coma last year when the Bulls won the MAC)..
David: What the hell do I care! Do you know how much money I wasted because I thought I could deduct it... Flying to Akron of all places! Buffalo 0 - Akron 0 - Uncle Sam... Profit!
Paul: Now that I know its all real I have go pick differently... Buffalo 31 - Akron 13 But still I have a hard time believing that this is all real and I am going to call around a bit before I will hold to that pick.