The Postseason Meal: 2012 Pt. 2: Misery's Company

David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

At least we are not Kansas or Cleveland.

The Postseason Meal will have to sustain us all until the Bulls return to Columbus, Ohio in 2013. The goal of the postseason meal is to Hydrate, Nutritionate and Reflect on the season that was.

Part 1: The Party Life

Sixteen teams have tried, but only seven teams have won the MAC Championship. It is greatly ironic that the list of winners includes Akron and Buffalo. In 2005 and 2008 respectively, these teams peaked, and then crashed, hard. The rest of this article will talk about our futility, but let us first take this time to laugh at:

Ohio: O - H - I - 0 -3 in MAC Championship games

WMU: 0-2 in MAC Championship games

Kent State: 0-1 in MAC Championship games

Ball State: 0-1 in MAC Championship games

Bowling Green: 0-1 MAC Championship games

Central Florida: No MAC Championship appearances

EMU: No MAC Championship appearances

Temple: No MAC Championship appearances

UMass: No MAC Championship appearances

Those teams are awful, especially Ball State and Ohio.

#1 Chart Time: The Misery Index (Least Football Wins 2010-2012)

Team 2010 2011 2012 3 Year Win Total Win % League
1 Akron 1 1 1 3 .083 NCAA
2 Kansas 3 2 1 6 .167 NCAA
2 UNLV

2

2 2 6 .167 NCAA
2 New Mexico 1 1 4 6 .167 NCAA
5 Memphis 1 2 4 7 .194 NCAA
5 New Mexico State 2 4 1 7 .194 NCAA
7 Tulane 4 2 2 8 .222 NCAA
7 FAU 4 1 3 8 .222 NCAA
9 Colorado 5 3 1 9 .250 NCAA
9 Buffalo 2 3 4 9 .250 NCAA
9 Washington State 2 4 3 9 .250 NCAA
9 Idaho 6 2 1 9 .250 NCAA
13 Carolina 2 6 4 12 .267 NFL
14 Indiana 5 1 4 10 .278 NCAA
14 UAB 4 3 3 10 .278 NCAA
14 EMU 2 6 2 10 .278 NCAA
14 Colorado State 3 3 4 10 .278 NCAA
18 Cleveland Browns 5 4 5 14 .311 NFL
19 St. Louis Rams 7 2 6 15 .333 NFL
19 Duke 3 3 6 12 .333 NCAA
19 Minnesota 3 3 6 12 .333 NCAA
19 Central Michigan 3 3 6 12 .333 NCAA
19 Ole Miss 4 2 6 12 .333 NCAA
19 N. Texas 3 5 4 12 .333 NCAA
19 Buffalo Bills 4 6 5 15 .333 NFL
19 Jacksonville Jaguars 8 5 2 15 .333 NFL
27 Minnesota Vikings 6 3 7 16 .356 NFL
28 Kentucky 6 5 2 13 .361 NCAA
29 Arizona Cardinals 5 8 4 17 .378 NFL
30 Wake Forest 3 6 5 14 .389 NCAA
30 UTEP 6 5 3 14 .389 NCAA
30 Rice 4 4 6 14 .389 NCAA
33 Washington Redskins 6 5 7 18 .400 NFL
33 Miami Dolphins 7 6 5 18 .400 NFL
35 Tennessee Titans 6 9 4 19 .422 NFL
35 Kansas City Cheifs 10 7 2 19 .422 NFL
35 Oakland Raiders 8 8 3 19 .422 NFL
38 Tennessee Volunteers 6 5 5 16 .444 NCAA
39 Iowa State 5 6 6 17 .472 NCAA

The Ruined Weekend List: These fans have had bad Saturdays and Sundays the past 3 years:

Tennessee Volunteers & Titans: 35-46, .432

Minnesota Golden Gophers & Vikings: 28-53, .346

Wake Forest Demon Deacons & Carolina Panthers: 26-55, .321

FAU Owls & Miami Dolphins: 26-55, .321

Memphis Tigers & Tennessee Titans: 26-55, .321

Kansas Jayhawks & Kansas City Cheifs: 25-56, .308

Buffalo Bulls & Bills: 24-57, .296

Duke Blue Devils & Carolina Panthers: 24-57, .296

And the most miserable football fan base of the past 3 years:

Akron Zips & Cleveland Browns: 17-64, .210

#2: Coach Loyalty List

Out of the bottom 12 NCAA teams on the list:

On Coach #3 - 1 of 12.

Colorado (Hawkins, Embree, MacIntyre)

On Coach #2 - 8 of 12.

Akron (Ianello, Bowden)

Kansas (Gill, Weis)

New Mexico (Locksley, Davie)

Memphis (Porter, Fuente)

Tulane (Toledo, Johnson)

FAU (Schnellenberger, Pelini)

Washington State (Wulff, Leach)

Idaho (Akey, Petrino)

On Coach #1 - 3 of 12

UNLV (Hauck) - Staying

Buffalo (Quinn) - Staying

New Mexico State (Walker) - Future Uncertain

Only time will tell if the loyalty play will work for Buffalo, UNLV and maybe NMSU.

#3 Bonus Chart Time: All-Time Buffalo Coaches List:

Rank Coach Years Games Wins Win Rank Losses Ties Win% Win% Rank Team
1 Marv Levy 1986-1997 201 123 1 78 0 0.612 3 Bills
2 Lou Saban 1962–1965, 1972-1976 121 70 2 47 4 0.598 6 Bills
3 Dick Offenhamer 1955-65 100 58 4 37 5 0.611 4 UB
4 Jim Peele 1936-1947 73 38 5 34 1 0.528 9 UB
5 Wade Phillips 1998–2000 50 29 7 21 0 0.580 7 Bills
6 Bill Dando 1977-1989 124 59 3 64 1 0.480 13 UB
7 Chuck Knox 1978–1982 76 38 6 38 0 0.500 10 Bills
8 Doc Urich 1966-68 30 18 11 12 0 0.600 5 UB
9 Frank Clair 1948-49 17 12 17 4 1 0.750 2 UB
10 Dick Jauron 2006-2009 57 24 8 33 0 0.421 18 Bills
11 C.W. Dibble 1897 7 7 26 0 0 1.000 1 UB
12 Turner Gill 2006-2009 50 20 9 30 0 0.400 20 UB
13 Mike Mularkey 2004–2005 32 14 14 18 0 0.438 15 Bills
14 Jay "Biffy" Lee 1929-30 15 8 22 7 0 0.533 8 UB
15 Joe Collier 1966–1968 31 13 15 17 1 0.433 16 Bills
16 Jim Wilson 1932-33, 50-51 30 12 18 15 3 0.444 14 UB
17 Craig Cirbus 1995-2000 66 19 10 47 0 0.288 25 UB
18 Gregg Williams 2001–2003 48 17 12 31 0 0.354 23 Bills
19 Chan Gailey 2010–present 45 15 13 30
0 0.333 24 Bills
20 Art Powell 1916-21 40 13 16 22 5 0.371 22 UB
21 Buster Ramsey 1960–1961 28 11 19 16 1 0.407 19 Bills
22 Bob Deming 1969-70 20 8 23 12 0 0.400 20 UB
23 Frank Pleasant 1915 6 3 33 3 0 0.500 10 UB
24 Ray Turnbull 1903 6 3 34 3 0 0.500 10 UB
25 Kay Stephenson 1983–1985 36 10 20 26 0 0.278 28 Bills
26 Jeff Quinn 2010-present 36 9 21 27 0 0.250 30 UB
27 Perry Fewell 2009 7 3 35 4 0 0.429 17 Bills
28 Jim Ward 1992-94 32 8 24 24 0 0.250 30 UB
29 John Rauch 1969–1970 28 7 27 20 1 0.259 29 Bills
30 George Van Bibber 1934-35 15 4 30 10 1 0.286 26 UB
31 Sam Sanders 1990-91 20 5 28 15 0 0.250 30 UB
32 Jim Hofher 2001-05 57 8 25 49 0 0.140 38 UB
33 James Bond 1923 8 2 37 5 1 0.286 26 UB
34 Hank Bullough 1985-1986 21 4 31 17 0 0.190 34 Bills
35 Russell Carrick 1924-28 37 5 29 30 2 0.143 37 UB
36 Fritz Febel 1952-54 24 4 32 19 1 0.174 35 UB
37 Wiliam Pritchard 1931 8 2 38 6 0 0.250 30 UB
38 Jim Ringo 1976-1977 23 3 36 20 0 0.130 39 Bills
39 James Batterson 1922 6 1 40 5 0 0.167 36 UB
40 Harvey Johnson 1968, 1971 26 2 39 23 1 0.080 40 Bills

Predictably, Marv Levy, the head of the Super Bowl era, is #1. Lou Saban, the coach of the two-time AFL Champion Bills is #2. Also in the top six, UB legends Dick Offenhamer, Jim Peele and Bill Dando. At #5, the under-appreciated Wade Phillips.

If Buffalo had a Mount Rushmore of football coaches, I think today it would include: Levy, Saban, Offenahmer and Gill. That said, Gill finished at #12 on my list, ironically sandwiched between hated Bills coaches Dick Jauron and Mike Mularkey. Gill didn't win as many games as he could have in 2007 and 2009 to really cement himself as a legend. He was also hampered by the 2-10 season in 2006. However, Buffalo respects the postseason, and Gill is the first coach since Levy to win a postseason football game for Buffalo.

Our Coach for forever Jeff Quinn sits at #26 out of 40 Buffalo football coaches. He's not Hofher bad (#32) but he is close. Quinn's company includes 2009 interim Bills coach Perry Fewell, UB's Jim Ward of the early 90's, 80's Bills coach Kay Stephenson and UB's head man in 1903 Ray Turnbull.

Hero of the Year #3: UB Special Teams?

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Yes, there was Gerogia, and Ohio, and many 20 yard punts and closely missed field goals, and the botched field goal attempt against Miami, a few dropped punt snaps, many muffed kick returns, but ignore all of that. UB Special Teams proved to be our hero this year.

It started against Toledo. In that game, Clarke missed his only attempt, but it looked pretty good from where I saw it. UB's kick block team blocked two extra points and Toledo missed a 3rd to turn what should have been a 14-point game into a more managable 11-point game. Tyler Grassman had the game of his season, averaging 34.5 yards per punt and he punted 10 times. Buffalo also held Toledo's dangerous special teams unit to one punt return for a loss of six yards, and only a 14 yard kick return average.

Against Miami, special teams made a few amazing plays to seal the victory. First a botched snap turned into a great play as Tony Daniel found Alex Dennison for a first down. Buffalo's offense came back on the field and scored a touchdown. After Miami tied the game with only 23 seconds remaining, Devin Campbell returned the ensuing kickoff 47-yards. This set up Patrick Clarke with the opportunity for a 47-yard game winning kick. He buried the kick to give Buffalo their first win over a FBS team in 2012.

The following week, Buffalo struggled in the red zone: drives stalled at the 13, 14, 18 and 21 yard lines. Fortunately, Clarke was 3-for-4 on the day giving Buffalo 9 needed points. In addition Tyler Grassman out punted WMU's punter, Grassman had 8 punts that averaged 38.4 yards, to Schroeder's 7 punts that averaged 33.9 yards.

Finally, as the Bulls struggled inexplicably in Foxborough, a blocked punt changed the momentum. Kyndal Minniefield returned the block for UB's first score of the day and sparked a 29-6 second half run to give Buffalo their 3rd straight victory.

Despite all the shortcomings of UB's Special Teams Unit over the past two years, they came up big in UB's 3 MAC wins and thus they are the season's 3rd hero.

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